A New Day and a New Page

As you can see, it's been awhile since I've posted. It's time to re-vamp the page and the contents. A lot has happened and a lot will be happening in the near future. I found this quote when looking for new backgrounds and it is perfect.

People tend to set goals or plans for things they'd like to have happen. Sometimes life gets in the way, and you don't meet your goals. Or perhaps you were almost there and got lost. You need to remember to set another goal, try again, don't give up. Lately this has been my problem. I have a list of things I want to accomplish, but when I am unsuccessul, I need to try again. Perhaps the goal was too big in such a small time frame. Maybe I need to set a smaller goal for the time provided?

I've had a life-long battle with the bulge. During my college years I got mono and lost a lot of weight. I was able to keep losing--mostly because I was walking up to 5 miles a day between our apartment and all over campus going to classes. My average weight during college was 140-150. Then we graduated and moved to Cali, and I started working full-time. I'm an Accountant, so I'm on my booty all day long! My weight slowly crept up to about 180. I was able to lose with the South Beach diet, and got down to about 170 in 2007. Slowly over the past four years, which inlcludes 2 surgeries, 2 miscarriages, our battle with infertility, my weight is now 240. I just had surgery almost two weeks ago and expected it to be up a little due to not moving around much and drinking a lot of gatorade. But 240?!? That shocked the hell outta me. I've tried doing the diets and the exercising and I'll stick to it for a month or so, lose 5 to 10 pounds, then I stop. I've always wondered if my weight is affecting our fertility issues, but I actually have a condition that affects fertility, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, so our doctor has never directly said "YOUR WEIGHT IS YOUR PROBLEM." Maybe he needs to say this? My husband, I love him dearly, has no problem with my weight and says I'm beautiful the way I am, regardless of my size.

Wow, writing this has just sparked something in me. I am sobbing, sad for what has happened in the past, sad for wishing I didn't have such a battle with my weight, sad for the struggle we've had to have our family, but I am forever grateful for what I do have--a husband whom is my best friend and loves me regardless of my short-comings, my mom and dad whom would do anything for us, and an older brother with two little girls I love to death.

A co-worker has been on a weight loss journey the past year. Maybe it's seeing her lose weight while I've gained that is affecting me so much? In the past 16 months, she has lost almost 65 pounds. She started out at over 300 and currenly weighs in the 240's. She is starting a 60 day weight loss challenge on facebook November 1st. I have always used the "we're trying to get pregnant, starting fertility treatments, excuses, excuses" to not actively participating in the past. Things are changing November 1st. I WANT to lose weight, I WANT to get pregnant and have our own family, and I WANT to be successful and be able to look back and say "I did that".