A New Day and a New Page

As you can see, it's been awhile since I've posted. It's time to re-vamp the page and the contents. A lot has happened and a lot will be happening in the near future. I found this quote when looking for new backgrounds and it is perfect.

People tend to set goals or plans for things they'd like to have happen. Sometimes life gets in the way, and you don't meet your goals. Or perhaps you were almost there and got lost. You need to remember to set another goal, try again, don't give up. Lately this has been my problem. I have a list of things I want to accomplish, but when I am unsuccessul, I need to try again. Perhaps the goal was too big in such a small time frame. Maybe I need to set a smaller goal for the time provided?

I've had a life-long battle with the bulge. During my college years I got mono and lost a lot of weight. I was able to keep losing--mostly because I was walking up to 5 miles a day between our apartment and all over campus going to classes. My average weight during college was 140-150. Then we graduated and moved to Cali, and I started working full-time. I'm an Accountant, so I'm on my booty all day long! My weight slowly crept up to about 180. I was able to lose with the South Beach diet, and got down to about 170 in 2007. Slowly over the past four years, which inlcludes 2 surgeries, 2 miscarriages, our battle with infertility, my weight is now 240. I just had surgery almost two weeks ago and expected it to be up a little due to not moving around much and drinking a lot of gatorade. But 240?!? That shocked the hell outta me. I've tried doing the diets and the exercising and I'll stick to it for a month or so, lose 5 to 10 pounds, then I stop. I've always wondered if my weight is affecting our fertility issues, but I actually have a condition that affects fertility, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, so our doctor has never directly said "YOUR WEIGHT IS YOUR PROBLEM." Maybe he needs to say this? My husband, I love him dearly, has no problem with my weight and says I'm beautiful the way I am, regardless of my size.

Wow, writing this has just sparked something in me. I am sobbing, sad for what has happened in the past, sad for wishing I didn't have such a battle with my weight, sad for the struggle we've had to have our family, but I am forever grateful for what I do have--a husband whom is my best friend and loves me regardless of my short-comings, my mom and dad whom would do anything for us, and an older brother with two little girls I love to death.

A co-worker has been on a weight loss journey the past year. Maybe it's seeing her lose weight while I've gained that is affecting me so much? In the past 16 months, she has lost almost 65 pounds. She started out at over 300 and currenly weighs in the 240's. She is starting a 60 day weight loss challenge on facebook November 1st. I have always used the "we're trying to get pregnant, starting fertility treatments, excuses, excuses" to not actively participating in the past. Things are changing November 1st. I WANT to lose weight, I WANT to get pregnant and have our own family, and I WANT to be successful and be able to look back and say "I did that".

Cinco De Mayo

Happy Cinco De Mayo! Why do I love this day? One, it's the day before my birthday, and two, you eat mexican food and drink margaritas all night long! I absolutely LOVE LOVE mexican food and who doesn't like margaritas? Since living in Southern California for 5 years, Corona to be exact, my love for mexican food grew and flourished! Now living in Bothell, WA (15 minutes from Seattle), I long for the traditional homemade tamales, flautas, enchiladas and more. We have not been able to find a "good" mexican restaurant in our area, but will settle for my homemade enchiladas. I soon plan to attempt to make tamales--we'll see how those turn out.

We leave for our trip to Boston in a little over one week and are so excited! Looking forwards to hours and hours of walking around a city with such historical importance and sites. I think Trevor has pretty much planned out each day from the touristy things we'll do all the way down to dinners. I am really looking forward to these ten, well seven really, days of him and I time where we are away from home, just the two of us. I say only seven days because for the last three, his family will be flying into Boston as his younger brother is graduating from Boston University with his Master's in Economics.

That's a short post for now, I promise to post pictures and all about our trip when we return!

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

Happy Anniversary

Sunday, April 3rd was our 7-year anniversary! How exciting and romantic...this year marks 13 years we've been together. Seven year itch--what itch?!?!?! We had a fun-filled weekend. Both of our parents wanted to 'celebrate' with us, so we decided to have them over Saturday night for dinner. Trevor made pulled pork sandwiches that was slow-cooked in the crockpot for 12 hours. WOW! The pork just fell right apart and was so juicy with the homemade BBQ sauce. Yum! Earlier that day I had run a few errands to get things for dinner and thought I'd surprise him with lunch from Burgermaster...absolutely delicious! Their hamburgers and milkshakes are to-die-for. They are a very close second to In-N-Out. Now, if only we'd get an in-n-out up here, I'd be one happy girl!

Finally onto Sunday, our actual anniversary. Of course, my phone is buzzing all day with Happy Anniversary wishes from everyone on facebook. We finally decide to go to Tulio in downtown Seattle for dinner and go to the Museum of Flight. Well, on our way to the museum, we got hungry and figured since dinner wasn't until 7 we better stop. We found this hole-in-the-wall Greek restaurant in Lake City that had gyros that were pretty darn good. Now on our way to the museum...not quite...we pass a Performace Cycle in Seattle (right by UW) and decide to stop in. We've talked about getting me a bicycle, so I've been looking around and test riding. That led us to REI in downtown Seattle, then to Gregg's Cycle in Green Lake, then to Gregg's Cycle in Lynnwood. After all that test riding of bikes, I wanted to freshen up for dinner. We quickly stopped home to change and off to dinner at Tulio. This was a traditional italian restaurant with a 3 course menu. We were there for three hours and didn't get home until after 10pm!!! A perfect anniversary!

A new signature

I'm so proud of myself--I figured out how to FINALLY have a "signature" after each post. Let's just thank google for helping me. What would we do if Google wasn't around?

I'm also proud to say I've relaxed so much the past couple days. The relief of being done with taxes, not owing A LOT of money, and putting the whole condo shabam behind us feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I have been sleeping better at night, if someone asks me how I'm doing I can honestly answer "good", and I'm not worried about what's to come in the upcoming few months. This weekend my best friend Amy and her hubby Eric are coming up from Portland for a visit, so we'll be taking them to the best Mexican restaurant we've found so far. Both of us lived in California for over 5 years, so we've had "GOOD" mexican food. We've had true and traditional homemade mexican, so it's hard to find a restaurant that lives up to our standards :). I'm sure once a few margaritas kick in, our standards will be lowered. ha ha! Ok, that's it for now.

It's a new Spring Day!

Wow, hard to believe Spring is here! The "official" first day of Spring was last Sunday, March 20th...seems like not too long ago we were enjoying the snow, ice, and 20 degree days. I am looking forward to being able to put our pots of herbs back outside on the patio, planting flowers, and eating outside. All in all, we're ready for good changes to come. Our tax return has been completed and sent in, all in our favor--WOOHOO! We're looking forward to our week and a half trip to Boston mid-May, which should be a lot of fun. Wow, it's coming up fast and what does that mean? I better dig through my summer clothes at the back of my closet and see what fits. Hmm....I think shopping is in my future :) Who doesn't like new clothes? The only problem is that they may not fit a month or two down the road, so I'll just get some good deals and bargain shop. Ooo...I almost forgot--we'll be celebrating our 7 year anniversary April 3rd. So exciting!!! I'm not sure what we have planned for the day, but since it's a Sunday we'll figure something out. Maybe make a weekend of it? Have a great week!

Days come and go

It's hard to believe almost a month has passed since my last post. Didn't I also mention that I'd get better at this bloggin' thing and post more often? Well, I guess I still need to work on that. Things have been quite chaotic in the Wilson household...we just took all of our tax info to our tax accountant Friday and we are praying it's a good outcome. We should know by the end of the week if we're going to be celebrating or having a down-in-the-dumps weekend. I'm hoping and praying it's good--we have a lot riding on this. This is a quick post, but I'll be back soon.

Designing this blog

I follow several blogs, and have recently really gotten into the whole blogging thing. I see so many cool and creatively designed blogs and am trying to figure out how they do it! The designs are cute and they have a lot of widgets (I think that's what they are called) linking to other blogs and other miscellaneous items. Then I go and look at mine...I have a lot of work to do! It'll get spiffy'd up soon, I promise. Once this weekend is over, I'll have more time to tackle my "to-do" list which seems to be accumulating A LOT of items! Ok. that's all I have time for now, but I also promise to keep up blogging and to blog more often!

Another month's come and gone

Holy shmokes! I can't believe my last post was a month ago! Where does time fly?!?!? Between working, studying, classes, and trying to live life, January sure zipped on by. I've been really getting into the whole blogging thing--obviously not my own, but finding others and reading them. It's quite intriguing what others have to say and you find comfort in knowing they're going through or have gone through what you are currently going through. Not many know, not many will ever know, and not many ever go through it. Nuff said.

This weekend is the Superbowl...hmm...who am I rooting for? I guess Green Bay, just so they can have the chance to prove themselves with Favre not there and carrying them for so long. Pittsburg is..well...putting it nicely, I don't like them. I am most looking forward to the commercials. Usually we are at a Superbowl party and miss the commercials due to chatting, the volume muted and so forth, so this year we decided to stay home. In the comfort of our own home we can watch the game in our PJ's, drink, eat whatever and whenever we want and not have to worry about getting home.

Infertility Pet Peeves

I once saw this from someone else's blog and thought this was great...so here it goes!

1. You have some catching up to do. A woman struck up a conversation with me at a party with the all-time favorite question "Do you have children?" When I said no, I got the follow-up question "How long have you been married?" When I said 10 years, she looked dumbfounded. Then she said, "Well, you have some catching up to do." Yep, you're right. Would you like to pay for my next IVF cycle?

2. Others' family planning. I have a friend who told me "I'm going to get pregnant in the next month or two so I can have the baby before our trip to Disney World next year." Oh. How nice you can plan it like that. And, it actually WORKED.

3. Look on the bright side. Don't you just hate people who say this? Not just for infertility, for anything. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am. Instead of being Little Miss Sunshine, why don't you just stick it where the sun don't shine?

4. Everything happens for a reason. Also known as "whatever is meant to be will be." If there is one thing I have learned, it is that most everything does not happen for a reason. I believe that bad stuff happens to good people for no good reason at all. I believe that there is no good reason for our infertility troubles. It is our responsibility to deal with these challenges and we're learning a lot in the process, but I don't believe it is for any particular reason. And I refuse to surrender to "whatever is meant to be" when I can fight as hard as I can to make my dream become my reality.

5. Backhanded compliments. "You're house is so clean! It must be easy since you don't have kids." Or "You're so skinny…but you haven't had kids yet." Thanks ... wait a minute ... are you implying that if I had kids I would be a fat slob?

6. You should adopt. This might seem like the most obvious solution in the world; however, adoption is a very complex, individual decision. Most people don't just wake up and say "Adoption! Why didn't I think of that? Let's go adopt today." I guarantee that every person who has experienced infertility has thought about adoption, but it's not the right answer for everyone. Nor is it easy. I have had several friends who have had wonderful experiences with adoption. I have also had friends who have bonded with a baby when the birth mother changes her mind and takes the baby back. I've had friends spend nearly $100,000 in adoption costs. Trust me, it's complicated. There is no cookie-cutter solution for infertility.

7. Quit your job and you'll get pregnant. Maybe this would work, but I don't have the luxury to find out. I've got to pay for those fertility treatments so I don't really have a choice, do I? And then there's the time someone told me to get pregnant so I could quit my stressful job.

8. I know how you feel. If you are going to say this, you had darn well better know how I feel. When someone truly does, it is incredibly validating and comforting. When someone doesn't, it's just insulting. If you have not been through a gamut of painful medical tests that violate your privacy, or experienced weight gain, hair loss, acne, or mood swings because of fertility drugs, if you have not had to give yourself daily shots in the stomach, if you have not drained your bank account to pay for treatments that don't work, if you have not put your life on hold for years waiting for something to happen, then you cannot possibly know how I feel.

9. God has a plan for you. This statement is back-loaded and complex. I was raised in a very religious home, so it makes me feel disloyal to argue with this. But what about my plans for me? Aren't they important?

10. Just relax, and it will happen. Also known as "be positive!" I cannot express enough loathing for these comments. For the record, we did try this—the whole first year we tried to conceive. At that time, I wasn't worried because I was certain we would get pregnant, and we were three years younger then, so our chances would have been better. However, you can help me feel a little more positive if you come closer so I can kick you in the shins.